Difficult thoughts on a doubly difficult day...

 I have a lot of thoughts going, but it's hard to write them down.  On top of everything else, it's the 24th anniversary of 9-11, which I will never forget.

~I remember the threats when I was getting married to a local cop and some local idiot threatened to shoot up the wedding reception.  

~I remember all the people over the years who drove past my house to get to court because I live on the main drag between that city and the court.   There is a lot of "by the grace of God" that those people didn't realize where the house was, or chose not to mess with it.  

~I remember the night my husband almost didn't come home because of a crazy person, who was not right when we were kids.  (So much more to that story.) "By the grace of God..."

~I remember 2020 when my husband was on mobile field force and gone all summer.  Remember?  When school supplies and seeds were illegal to purchase, and don't go camping or to your self-owned cabin ---- but please feel free to go protest all you want because it's your civic duty.  And don't forget to write down and report any of your neighbors to the police who aren't doing what you think they ought.  

Then call the police liars when those who witnessed the pallets of bricks and other events at the protests talk, because the media said otherwise.  One of my local firefighters called my husband a liar to my face over the pallets of bricks.  That firefighter was one of the first to hole up and not leave the house in 2020, when my husband had to keep working through the hell that was going on.  There is a reason I no longer vote for millages for my local fire department.  (It's volunteer, so my house will burn down anyway before they arrive.) 

There are so many more things I want to write and I cannot.  I'm not allowed to.  I'm not sure it would matter, because like that firefighter, if one's mind is made up, no amount of proof  will change it.  Anything I say is just wasted words.

But I'm already seeing and hearing something horrible.  We have had a lot of politicians and political people shot and killed this year.  This newest assassination is no less or more horrible than any of the rest.  Why is it to remember one is to imply that everyone else is forgotten?  

So I'm going to mention a few truly forgotten individuals, people who never got national recognition for their deaths.  You'll have to look them up yourself and figure out why I don't forget.  And no, none of it makes sense at all.  Tragedy doesn't make sense, unless you look through the lens of the cross.  I can't make anyone do that.  

Jessica Nagle-Wilson

Mark Sawyers

Aaron Ureel