I wrote this 4 years ago, making fun of a typical situation one might find in any job. Enjoy. I still think it is some of my best work.
January 4, 2021
MEMO
RE: Punctuation Misuse by all employees.....
This is an extremely simplified explanation as there have been way too many people misusing punctuation... I can't believe I have to explain this, What are we, in the 3rd grade?
There should only be one point at the end of the sentence... unless you are combining it with a second sentence to create a linear thought, at which point you use 3 points (...) to combine the sentence into a multiple thought. When you are extremely annoyed.... four points should be used.... to join the sentences in order to stress your point and make everyone understand it is getting important. In the event it is an extremely important point..... or very annoying to the person writing the memo..... then 5 points must be used. You cannot use 5 points to make a linear thought... you must use 3. At no time can 5 points be used to join two sentences..... unless I'm getting ready to yell at you. And I am yelling..... knock it off!!!!!!
Obviously you were all sleeping in english class when punctuation was discussed.... what is this world coming to??? Apparently none of you pay attention either... since I am now writing this Memo after I spent all my time on the last one!
I hope that I will not have to yell about the misuse of exclamation points next!!!!!!
