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French in Action fans will know this saying very well. The late genius et notre professeur Pierre Capretz managed to keep this old saying alive by using it. I use it when totally perplexed and want to express it in a humorous way -- really, what is more confusing than mystery and gum balls together? For me, it also expresses the last 20+ years of my life, all the things I wish someone had told me would happen and prepare me for. But like The Hip sing, "No dress rehearsal, This is our life." This is a compilation of things I have learned that I wish I knew beforehand.
1. Shut up, stay out of sight, and don't talk to anyone. No volunteering for good causes or anything associated with the department in any way.
2. Unions are absolutely useless.
3. Fight like hell for a house with more than one bathroom. (I know, you can't afford it, see #2)
4. Vacations are suggestions.
5. Promotions are more work for less money, and if you have to run the department you will make even less and have to work more hours.
6. Nobody cares. You will have to fully function while ill, hospitalized, or dealing with dying relatives and be prepared for the anger when you can't.
7. Integrity, honesty and decency do not exist.
8. The other spouse will be forced to give up their job if there are kids involved.
9. If you can't obey #1, set up a separate life away from your spouse. Go out with your friends, and keep a separate group of friends. Learn to explain why you're out by yourself, the single person in a group of couples. This is the fast-track to divorce, but if you married a cop, you probably didn't understand what you were getting into.
10. Family and marriage do not come first, no matter how much your boss says so.
